One morning, I woke up with a sudden urge to jump out of my own shell and GET SHIT DONE. Suddenly, as the first thing in the morning, I saw all the things I have wanted to but never did or all the somewhat wrong turns I have taken… all lead by fear. So I decided to learn how to be more fearless and make better decisions.
After taking a breath and considering what just “hit me”, I realized that it’s quite true and I might not be the only one.
Have you ever considered how many of your decisions are based on avoiding something bad instead of running for the good? How many times have you been lead by fear of something instead of the good thill?
Once I started realizing that, I also felt a sudden urge to learn how to be more fearless and make better decisions.
Here’s what I mean by saying “lead by fear”
…fear of not earning enough
How many times have you said no to a new business idea just because you’re afraid that it won’t pay off?
How often have you put away a dream of yours just because your safety is more enticing?
Money is the base of many, if not most, fears in human beings. We are scared to leave the jobs we hate just because in the next position we might not earn as much… We are scared to start our own businesses just because there’s no guarantee that they will pay off. We are even scared to invest because we don’t know what will be the return.
It’s understandable and logical. If you need to feed your family, leaving your day job based on an impulsive urge might not be the best idea ever. However, it’s also important to open up to new ideas and take the leap when you have a chance.
…fear of losing people around you
Have you ever felt restricted in relationships just because something you want might not like the other person?
Have you lost a bit of yourself just for the sake of the compromise?
As with everything in life, there’s a fine line between building understanding relationships and giving up on yourself just for the sake of being with someone.
And I’m not talking only about romantic relationships. The same goes for keeping up with your family, friends or even work colleagues…
Do you fear the judgment? Do you fear of them leaving you for who you are? Then again, do we really need to keep around people who do not inspire us with their support?
Creating good human relationships is damn hard. If you have friends from high school who have stuck around you for the past 10 years, I understand how “letting go” seems ridiculous. But letting go is the only way to let in new things!
…fear of missing out
Oh, this one is big! The so-called FOMO.
This is one of the biggest fears that have lead my life so far. I’ve done countless things just because I’m afraid of what might happen if I don’t…
It goes from the most trivial things like “what if this party I don’t go to turns out the best party of the year?!” scaling up to things like people I might not meet or business deals I can miss out on.
Fear of missing out means that you are scared of what will happen if you’re not gonna be there. It’s especially common around digital nomads and those who have relocated their lives.
Missing out on friends birthdays, weddings, childbirth…
The irony of this is that there is no way you can always make it everywhere. There is always something left behind… And giving in to FOMO will only add stress and worry in your life.
How to be more fearless and make better decisions?
TIP #1: Remember, it’s all about you
Give me a second of some voodoo philosophical stuff.
At the end of the day, you are you. You are the one and only true YOU in this world that will ever be here. Do you really want to live your life lead by fear? Why not indulge in your true callings?
Your life is all about you. The way you want to be. The way you want to shine your light in the world.
Anyone of us should be able to follow our inner urges. Sometimes it’s intuition. Other times it’s your subconscious. But there definitely is something in you that leads the way. The only way to find your path is to let go and follow the road.
TIP #2: Decide what matters to you the most
There is no way to always make it, to always pick the right decision and to never fail.
The only way to stay sane and make better decisions is by creating and following a list of things that truly matter to you the most.
- Is it your financial freedom or your social status?
- Is it your health, happiness and wellbeing or fulfilling other people’s expectations?
- Is it your sleep or clean house? 🙂
For me, the freedom to be where I want to be is crucial. Therefore, I have never settled down with somebody or somewhere (for example, in a job) that would require me to stay put. In this case, my personal freedom is over the amount of money I would get or even people I would want to be with.
However, there are many different ways to build this list. Explore what really matters for you, what are your most important priorities.
TIP #3: Have a little faith
Whether you are spiritual, religious or big bang theory kind of a person, you need to have a little faith to make things work.
First of all, have faith in yourself. That you CAN deal with things, you can get through plenty of obstacles. You have already gone far in life and your road is taking you way further. Believe that you are capable of finding the way and dealing with whatever comes along.
Have faith in the universe. Everything on earth is made out of atoms and molecules, everything is energy. And, at the end of the day, we’re all living on a ball circling somewhere in the middle of nowhere… I mean, if you don’t believe in the universe and things it can do for you, you can just as well start believing that the earth is flat and held by dolphins.
Have faith in others. We all are here together and while people do make mistakes, people are also able to learn, grow and do their best. Nothing can be done on your own, there are always other people involved in your life, therefore, you also should have a little faith in them.
TIP #4: Be more open-minded
We as humans are set in our ways. We always do what we are used to and stepping out of our comfort zone is whole another challenge.
But that’s where the fun happens!
If you want to make better decisions, you will need to be more open-minded. Believe in the possibilities beyond your own understanding.
How to open your mind? By getting out there and letting other things in.
For me, the best way to widen my horizons is the inspiration from other people. I love reading other blog posts, watching TEDx talks, reading inspirational books, chatting with people in Facebook groups and live networking. Meeting new people is madly motivating!
If you have a chance to make an even bigger step, find a chance to travel, as much and as far out of your comfort as possible. I’ve been long-term traveling and living abroad since I was 19 and nothing has changed and improved my mindset as much as traveling has.
Sometimes even going for a short trip to a city nearby can be inspirational and eye-opening.
All you need to be more fearless and open-minded is to see that if others can, you will be able to as well. No doubts!
What has helped you to be more fearless?